I'm going to bite the bullet.

I'm going to do it this time. Definately. I know I'm working now but I'm feeling totally unfulfilled. I need to give my business a go for my own peace of mind. Even if I fail, I can do it alongside work hopefully.

I can't keep filling up my hours with meaningless activities to distract my mind from what I want to be doing when it's not working anyway.

Time to have faith and take a damn big leap.

People who aren't who you think.

I love my brother's partner to death, she's just the sweetest girl ever. I always thought she had it really together and a really confident person but I just found out she is spend hundreds on a hair removal laser thing because some drunk guy that she doesn't know and will probably never see her again. I'm horrified. I mean I have those hairs and most women do and mine get really dark around my period and they def got darker when I got pregnant but I don't care. I never even noticed any hairs on her face. I'm shocked she's not as confident as I thought she was.

I am going to get the same laser treatment but it's mainly because I'll save money in the long run. I'm so upset that she feels like that.

I just convinced her that she doesn't need to lose any more weight for their wedding just maintain it. She already does quite a bit of exercise but was considering starting another class but I think (hope) she doesn't feel she has to now. At the moment, one of her closest friends is way to thin at the moment because of trying to lose weight for the wedding and I basically said (in a nice roundabout way) if she keeps going she look like her. I think that hit home (hopefully) I don't really feel insecure about my body to the extent that my sister-in-law does and I'm kinda tomboyish but for some reason I seem to the only one who's getting through to her.

I hope I can give her some confidence. It's just a shame she won't believe my bro because he is the least superficial person I know.

I'm not any good at this stuff but it is kinda falling on my shoulders.

Thinking of our future...

Got a lot to think about. My head is a bit wrecked. I suppose since we are more than likely going to be moving to New Zealand, i gotta cope with the idea that my family won't be that involved in Donal's life or any future kids we may have. I'm already thinking about schools. I have to do some research into Kiwi schools and how they work. I'm going to brush up on my Irish so I can teach Donal some if we do decide to move. I would love another little kid now but even though we have the money my instinct is telling me to wait another year so I am.

I think the only reason I think I want another baby is because I'm feeling pretty unsatisfied with most things and I want to feel in the hole (which is a rubbish reason to have a baby). I'm happy with my little family but my extended family drive me crazy for reasons I don't even want to get into.

I know I should be grateful I have a job even though it won't be full time for another month or so and it's secure etc. I just want to dive in and start my business but I can't do it without getting into debt and that would be a totally selfish thing to do for Donal's future.

I'm really trying to enjoy the job as it's usually the type of work I enjoy but I'm just not. I feel so smothered with the mundane every day stuff.

Not Donal though he's fair from mundane, he's my crazy little sweet boy and although I miss my tiny baby he's getting better as he gets older. He's started making little 2 year old jokes and he gets excited when he sees me baking biscuits or bread and pretty much stands at the oven door until it's baked and his reaction if I bake them while he's asleep is priceless. How dare mummy bake without me....

He's also started copying what I say which is just so cute.

I just want to provide for him and hang out with him. I hate having other people minding him other than Chris and I. I know he's with his Grandad but still I prefer it when he's with me because my Dad just tends to do what he wants to do with Donal, not what we want.

If I had my own business, he could be with me alot which to me is hugely important. It's always so chilled with me and while he is always happy with my parents, he spends most of him time wired and hyper.

Anyway I think that's all I have to say or type.

Frustrating day...

I spent the whole day working getting the school ready for the science fair tomorrow including making up a sciencey cd for background music. I'm off tomorrow. It's very disappointing putting so much work into something and not to be there for it. Oh well, hopefully the kids have a great time. I'll be spending tomorrow cleaning and repotting my herbs. I suppose I'll have to spend some time with Donal!

I wish I had the words to explain how my head feels.

Oh well I'm sure everything will work out even though I'm compromising on loads of stuff I want to do. I'm trying so hard to be patient but I'm getting more and more frustrated.

I'm trying so hard to be positive...

Terrible Twos

Oh dear, my little angel is disappearing and his little temper tantrums are slowly building momentum. I'm completely drained from dealing with them. Hopefully they won't last very long. Absolutely everything is an issue, getting dressed in the morning, getting undressed in the evening, getting into the highchair, getting out of the highchair, going for a walk, coming home from the walk. The list goes on and on. I'm too tired to even attempt to make a joke about it.

Other than that, everything is good. He saw his grandparents yesterday morning on skype which is always good because he does miss them. He's forever kissing their picture and every airplane he sees he calls their names.

Nothing very interesting has happened of late, just the usual. Had a family dinner yesterday with 2 extra people at the last minute, my brothers in-laws. It was lovely and I'm always saying it's something we should do more regularly, specially when we get on so well. I reckon Donal sees them as his 3rd set of Grandparents.

Oh I'm doing one exciting thing, I'm going with Ger (brother's partner) and her sisters to view her wedding dress next weekend and to help pick out dresses for them. (someone to stand back and view them as a group) so that should be fun. Even though it's not a really dressy affair we are both of the opinion I should go for a fab evening gown, something that sets me apart from the guests but very different from the bridesmaids because naturally she wants her and sisters to stand out. I know it's months away yet but I'm really excited as I only have one sibling. Brendan (brother) wants Donal (my son) to be a mini version of him even if he has to get the suit specially made. Donal is a complete mini version of his Dad though which will be brillant for our wedding.

Anyway that's enough rambling for one day.

Take care and have a nice day.

Crazy days....

Been a crazy few days getting used to working again. It is getting easier getting used to having ting Donal organised that early but he is suffering from a little separation anxiety at night. The job is fine but I'm not finding it that stimulating. I spend most of my day wondering what will I do next. The kids are great and that part is brillant but in general there isn't a lot going on. I suppose I'm just used to working with larger groups and according to the vice-principal I'm coping very well with the various types of special needs. She said most the new people usually break down at some point in the first few weeks because they find dealing with the children and their different habits difficult to deal with.

I'm hoping once I settle in I will enjoy it a bit more as I'm worried that I'm not enjoying it because my brain is buzzing with 3 separate business ideas all viable, all good plain sensible business plans that are very capable of working in the area I live in but I'm struggling with it as I'm just don't have enough financial security behind me to do it without getting in debt which obviously is something I want to avoid. I'm friends with plenty of other business people who's overheads are crippling them and are working week to week and that's not how I want to do this.

I don't know... My head hurts thinking about all the things I want to achieve and I'm not quite there. I'm not good at waiting. Hopefully things work out for me. Chris is behind me a 100% but agrees I should wait but it's sending me a bit crazy.

Oh well. Sorry for the whingefest. Send me all your good wishes and I'll send them back tenfold.

Sub Work.

I got a call at 9:20 this morning. It was the school I had a job interview a few weeks back as a Special needs assistant. I got the job but I can't start until my garda clearance comes through. They needed someone last minute as someone was ill so I was brought in as a sub. I'm helping out tomorrow as well.

I'm torn between working in the school 9 -3 each day and still getting the afternoon/evening with Donal and just jumping right in and start my business. Specially since a few days ago the perfect premises came up for rent including till, shop displays etc for a really good price. The couple who had the shop retired.

My instinct is to go with my idea but my head is telling me to get a job add another wage to the family and put some money aside into the business fund so in the future when I do set up I'll owe the banks less.

I don't know what to do.

Opinions anyone? Just dive right in or take the sensible safe route.

What a great day!

Hello all, hope everyone had a great Sunday.

My Sunday started off pretty much as normal. Sunday's always seem to be real food days in my life. Got up this morning, got Donal his breakfast and started cooking ours. Simple breakfast but it was really delicious, Fried rashers and egg with coffee. Then the real cooking started. My Mum, Dad and Brother were coming for dinner. So Donal and I made biscuits at 10am for our Chocolate Biscuit cake which needs a few hours to set in the fridge, hence the 10am start. While we were doing that Chris was cleaning upstairs (thanks babe). While the biscuits were cooking the 3 of us were just hanging out in the sitting room, Chris and I on the couch, Donal playing with his toys when all of sudden he jumps up and comes running towards me shouting ME! while jumping into my arms. Oh to spend 5 minutes in his head.

Anyway back to the Kitchen, as I was just mixing the broken biscuits into the melted chocolate, my older neighbour calls in with a berry crumble just because (I suppose I did make her treacle bread last week for her daughter and grandkids coming). Thanks Anne!

For the main course, I roasted a chicken (my dad, brother and son's favourite) with a delicious stuffing and roast veg, loads of spuds, and a sweet potato and pepper salad. Mum made her lovely mushy peas and I got her to make her lovely gravy from the juice of the chicken. I just can't do it as well as her. It was a great meal and was washed down with wine. Then dessert and plenty of "real" coffee. I love my coffee machine.

It was a really great day and I haven't even discussed the garden yet.

That will be tomorrow though, time for sleep.

Night all.

Emma

5:30am...very awake

I was so tired that I went to bed almost straight away after Donal. He did his usual waking up at 3am, resettled him went back to bed. Then he stirred again at 4am and I've been awake since. That always happens when I go to bed early. I think I'm just used to only having a certain amount of sleep. Ah well it was a pretty productive night. I emptied yet another box of stuff in our junk room... still no camera, and I designed our house in New Zealand. Now all we need is the money to afford it! One day it will happen, I guarantee it.

2 more hours till Donal wakes up. Might read a book or something.

byebye for now

My Favourite Treacle Bread recipe

Amount  Measure       Ingredient -- Preparation Method
--------  ------------  --------------------------------
  450            grams  all-purpose flour -- (1 lb/4 cups)
  1                tsp  baking soda -- (l-1/4 US tsp)
  1                tsp  baking powder -- (l-1/4 US tsp)
  50             grams  sugar -- (2 oz/2 US tbsp)
  75             grams  butter -- (3 oz/3/4 stick)
  2               tbsp  black treacle -- (2-1/2 US tbsp) (molasses)
  280               ml  buttermilk -- (1/2 pint/1-1/4 cups) just to make a 
stiff dough (a little more than)

sift the dry ingredients into a bowl. Melt the butter with the treacle/molasses 
and add it to the flour mixture. Mix these well with a wooden spoon. Mix in 
enough buttermilk to make a firm dough.

Knead this a little. Roll the dough to 5 cm/2 inch thick. Make 4 'farls' or 
quarters by cutting a cross in the top. Bake in centre of oven at 
200°C/400°F/gas 6 for about 40 minutes. Tap the loaf for a hollow sound. When 
it is done, put it on a wire rack and cover with a clean cloth.

Description:
  "A rich-tasting bread that keeps well and needs fresh butter. Treacle bread 
can be made more interesting with a tablespoon of grated orange peel or some 
ginger added to the mixture."
Source:
  "THE LITTLE IRISH BAKING BOOK"

PS: I don't put in the sugar, I think the treacle is enough 

Not a good patient

I've got a nasty stomach bug. I'm just lying on the couch trying to rest but I keep thinking I should be doing something constructive like cleaning or baking or something but as soon as I stand up I get weak. And to make it worse Donal has been with his grandparents since 1pm yesterday because I'm just not able to cope with him. Poor Chris rushed home from work to collect him from his grandparents but the poor little angel was fast asleep on the couch and didn't wake up so he was just moved to bed up there. I'm looking forward to seeing him this evening. The last few days have been pretty difficult for me Donal was sick and now I'm sick. Hopefully Chris doesn't get this bug. It's absolutely terrible.


Hopefully I'll be better by this evening.

Small town shops, small town ingredients

Chris and I are trying hard to be healthy and cook from scratch which is easy because I'm a stay at home mom but it's so frustrating, I wonder through our supermarket there's always some ingredients missing. Tonight I'm gonna try and replan our cupboards so we can go to the next town over with a huge supermarket and stock up on the more unusual ingredients. which irritates me as I tend to just by whats available local. I am getting tired of compromising on what I want to cook and what I can cook. Maybe I should add a 3rd business to my list.

All of sudden, there's lots of people same as myself who our fighting to revive our town and I believe it's starting to work.

I found it!

I think after months of searching, I found my replacement wedding venue. I hope it's within my price range. Venue, food and entertainment are def the bulk of the budget. I'm so excited I can't even type! Here it is.
http://www.cloghancastle.com

Photo opportunities...

I keep missing out on wonderful photo opportunities with Donal, Def need to search the last of the boxes to find my camera. Watching Donal toddling around the garden with his little watering can and rake was just the cutest ever. He find a little old brush and got great amusement out of brushing the grass!!!

Not a very interesting post, but I'm sitting here giggling to myself.

Newborns, Gardening and Archaeology.

Having a lovely day today. Donal and I are just chilling out on the sofa all wrapped up in his favourite blanket as he's feeling a bit cross.


The day got off to a great start. Donal had a little lie-in and so Chris and I had half a breakfast just the two of us, like the old days, before he woke up. I don't think he was too impressed Chris and I were already having breakfast but we were soon forgiven.


Today I'm going to tackle the Guest room which is mainly a store room at the moment. How well I succeed at that, depends on how cheerful and helpful the young master stays, If that goes well, on goes the wellies and up the field we go to plan how we are going to tackle that. In two years, I'm determined to have chickens, a veg patch, a flower garden, a lovely deck area with barbeque (to help Chris feel less homesick) and just a nice grassy area for Donal to play in and get dirty and maybe a sand pit. First job is to kill the nettles, source the starting point of the blackberry bushes which are just all over the field, then it's getting in and digging up the soil, remove rocks etc.

I wonder how long I'll last before the archaeologist in me comes out and I want to get my trowel out. Imagine the treasures that are hidden in there. I'm going to get my camera out and take photos of the field.

Yesterday, myself and Donal popped into my neighbour's house to meet her 3rd baby. He's so beautiful, I held him for a little while and I forgot how tiny and delicate they are at that age. Donal was amazed by him and I was so impressed with him. Not a bit of jealousy at me holding him, just absolute fascination, he gave him lots of little kisses. So cute.

My mind is buzzing again so it's possible I'll be posting more today but for now it's bye!

Have a great day and enjoy it.

Very relaxing few days,

What a great few days, everyone was so chilled out...even the two year old! He's back to himself today though, crazy child running around like a mad thing.


Lets start back on Friday night, unfortunately the gig was only so-so but there was still a great atmosphere, ran into an old school mate that I haven't seen in years so that was good.

Next morning, went up to pick up Donal from his Grandparents at 9:30 and he had a great night. First time staying there without me so that was good. The 3 of us went for breakfast to Hesters aka The Golden Eagle and Donal was not one bit impressed with us getting breakfast (or brunch in his case, breakfast was at 7:30 for him) before him. Breakfast there is heavenly and the coffee is to die for. Then it was home, Donal gets the pleasure of having a nap, while we get to do grown-up boring stuff, like hoovering and mopping floors (which I secretly love).

Then I made my famous coconut chicken with noodles for dinner which as per usual it went down a treat. Nothing more comical than seeing a two year old trying to suck up noodles and refusing to eat them if they have been cut up!

Nothing very exciting happened yesterday (Sunday) except Chris made the most wonderful cheese scones and I made treacle bread and bacon and cabbage for the dinner.

Today I have to update my business plan and head over to the Women's Network as they have set up a support system for women trying to get back into work, particularly when you have your own business idea.

And just to throw another spanner into the works, I was sitting reading a wedding magazine last night. One of the articles was certain issues brides have and almost straight after another business idea popped into my head regarding one of the issues, now I have jotted that down and have to start expanding it.

I'm either going to become a millionaire or die of exhaustion! I wish I had the confidence in myself when I was younger to follow up on all the ideas I had. It's amazing what having a child can do for your confidence.

Wish me luck.

Tsunami In Japan.

It's terrible isn't it. Terrifying stuff. We are just all at the mercy of nature. Earthquakes and volcanos terrify me. It plays on my mind whenever I'm in New Zealand. Did anyone hear about the documentary released in 1996 saying what would happen if an earthquake were to hit Christchurch? I haven't watched it yet but I'm just about to. Typically the director Grant Dixon is saying he should have pushed the Council into taking more action following his documentary. Hindsight is a wonderful thing.


Also, I just want to congratulate Luke "Ming" Flanagan on making it to the Dail. We are so proud of you. Looking forward to celebrating your win tonight. (How did you get Republic of Loose at such short notice?? Only for €5!! Your a great man)

Day one of My Quiet Life.

I've always wanted to have my own blog even though I'm not a hugely interesting or exciting person, nor am I going to try to make myself one. My inspiration came from Tavi interestingly enough as I am not that into fashion, but I admire her as she's a strong, confident young woman who embraces who she is and that is very refreshing.

Anyway back to me, I'm Emma, I'm mother to the wonderful Donal, partner to the almost as wonderful Chris! (sorry Chris!). I'm turning 29 this year, Chris is 29 and our little man is 2.

Quick background on myself, Born May 17th, 1982, C section. Spent my whole life in the West of Ireland bar the odd month or so here and there abroad. Love my home town but think in some ways we are killing off our own town, Mother is Mary, Father is Pat, My one sibling, my Big Brother Brendan and my soon-to-be-sister Ger all very important part of my life.

I meet Chris online at the age of 17 and after a few trips over and back to each other we finally settled down together here in Ireland. His family are also very important in our life and without skype and webcams our life would be very difficult. Donal loves seeing his grandparents on the laptop while he is eating his breakfast. He also seems to have a good grasp of them being asleep when he is awake and only sees them when both him and them are in their pjs. Unfortunately some person(s) clearly with little to no decency broke into their home and stole all their computers just 2 days ago.

This is just a little opening post to get a feel for it and I will probably do another one later on or tomorrow a bit more planned than this one is.